There’s this thing where…

stimmyabby:

an autistic person will- for example, in my case- line up rocks and shells, or tap patterns on their face, or wear inside out sweaters and carry acorns in their pockets because it makes them feel safe.

And well meaning people will go, “Oh! Behavior is communication! She’s doing that because she feels unsafe! We have to address the root problem of anxiety and then the behavior will stop!”

And it’s the wrong way to look at it.

Some people paint their room orange, because it makes them feel safe. Some people go to mass every week, because it makes them feel safe. Some people wear the pendant their grandmother gave them or their lucky socks or carry around a thermos of hot chocolate because it makes them feel safe.

Most people do things that make them feel safe. It doesn’t mean there is a problem to be fixed. And even if there is a problem in a specific person’s life- and even if the problem is anxiety- and even if the problem is fixable- after you get rid of my anxiety problems I am still going to carry acorns in my pockets and tap patterns on my face.

i used to wear a beanie every day because it made me feel safe. i was homeschooled for two years so it wasnt a problem at the time. when i was forced to return to public school, the teachers made me take off my beanie every day. i dont feel safe anymore. and i didnt understand at first and i thought something could be worked out so i kept wearing the beanie and i got in trouble. so now i feel even less safe. ive been taught the things that keep me happy and stable are bad. and ive missed at least 2 days every week for similar reasons.